Oh No! A Pre-Prom Breakup? How to Cope.

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Don’t you hate when your parents say the words, “worst-case scenario”? I mean, really. Who wants to focus on the worst-case anything? It’s far more fun to plan for the best and the good times.

That said, the reason they give such warnings is, well, sometimes bad stuff does happen, and it really is best to be prepared.

One prom situation that you rarely see discussed is what to do if you break up with your prom date just before prom?

Ouch, right?

There are a lot of issues that might arise is this unfortunate relationship issue catches up with you, from what to do with your gorgeous prom dress to who takes the financial hit. Some of these sticky situations might include:

What should do if you share a big group of friends? Who do you spend time with? Do you have to make them choose between you and your ex?

Sharing “custody” of your mutual friends is tough with or without prom, but it makes the prom especially complicated. One easy answer is no, you don’t have to make them choose between the two of you. You may have to negotiate when each of you will hang out with specific people, though. If you are on speaking terms, trying to work out something equitable (“I’ll take arrival and photos, you take dinner and the first half of dancing,” etc.). If your breakup was rough and you can’t speak to each other yet, a diplomatic friend may have to help you choose a schedule. Just try not to put him or her in the middle. Simply confirm arrangements, understand that you’re going to have to compromise and try your hardest to be mature.

Pre- and post-prom events … if you planned to attend together, who will go to which events now?

If all of the friendships were mutual, and you can’t be in the same place with your ex, each of you could choose an event. You take pre-prom and he’ll take post-prom, for example. If that doesn’t work, the person with the closest relationship to the friend group should probably attend each, especially if there are parents and longtime family relationships involved. Of course, each of you could put on your game face and attend, or both could simply stay home (boring!).

What if it’s too late to get another date?

Easy – go with your group. You’re going to remember attending with people you love. If you have a great group of friends, join them and have a great time. It’s your prom too!

How do you handle financial issues? What if one partner paid for prom? Can the other still go? If one chooses not to go, is the other stuck with the bill?

Financial issues can be sticky, and generally, one falls back on who instigated the breakup along with who paid for what. This can get very personal, so the best course of action is to attempt to be as equitable as possible, as flexible as you can, and as fair as is reasonable. Only you two know the whole story, so choose the outcome that makes you both look like the biggest people with the biggest hearts possible.

A pre-prom breakup, especially really close to the big day, is rough, but it doesn’t haven’t to be the end of your world. If you found the perfect prom dress, or you’ve rented an awesome tux, go ahead and fix your face, get dressed up and go out and have the best time you possibly can. It’s much better to make memories with your friends than it is to regret doing nothing at all.

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